Joyce Meyer! I like her!

http://www.joycemeyer.org/OurMinistries/Broadcast/

Fasting... day 11, 12, 13

These days have been plenty of battles... I haven't had time to write but it has been hard since I have less time to pray or to do my devotion... just 1h or 1h 30 min a day... which is too little for me... I'm hungrier for more of Him now... today a young friend that was coming to my church came to visit. We taught him why mormon religion is not a good option at all for anybody's life..We explained him very well... and I hope God continues to work on him, because this work is not ours but the Lord's.

Fasting....day 9 and 10

It is getting tough... but still on the battle and knowing Jesus gave me already the victory and in the middle of the battle I'm just enjoying His presence so much! He told me do not be afraid, I already won! and I was like: great!! yes! thanks!! yay!
Yesterday I had so much fun with the people of the day center at the Jeffrey Hale Hospital! I love old people, they are so kind and loving! I like to listen to them and to smile at them and to make them feel happy! I went as a volunteer, helping with the kitchen and being with the elderly!! I've been involved with volunteering there for some months now and I love it! people there are really great! It is so much fun to serve than to be served!
 :)

Fasting... day 8

This fasting has been such a blessing for my life!!!! joy! joy! joy! I feel so different!! wow! it's like I don't even want to finish it!!  but I will let Jesus to live through me and in that way He will tell me when to stop it! Yesterday night and today morning I was so missing my dad! I started to miss him more since he passed away already 11 days ago... plus, he was in coma for 34 days ... and I didnt speak the to him the day before he had the stroke... so it is already 45 days without talking to him and I'm missing him, even though I know he's so well in the Father's arms... I know he feels happy, I know it! and it's a great release for m life! but, it doesn't mean I don't miss him.... My dad being in heaven now is like.... I feel that my connection with heaven is stronger. An example to understand what I mean: if your dad works and live at the same house of the president of the country and they are very close and friends... you would feel like you are also important because you can say my dad works and lives with the president... but in this case, it is not the president but the creator of the Universe... and although I experience daily the presence of my Lord God... I feel that my dad being n heaven makes so proud of Him and I can say: hey my dad now lives at the house of the creator of the universe...it is the feeling I have and it makes me really proud and happy to be included in the package...
Talking about other thing... yesterday I started to look for a job... I know my Jesus will give me something that I enjoy to do... I know it! I mean He could give me something I wouldn't enjoy and it would be fine too because HE always have a greater purpose but in this case I know He will give me something that I enjoy to do!!! so great!!!!!
And, finally, I love this song! I sang it with my guitar!

fasting... day 6 and 7

I can tell I spend a great weekend!! The Lord is revealing himself as never before.... I mean, in a different way. He has revealed to me in another also marvelous, amazing ways but now... He's like so familiar to me, He's being revealed to me as a real God, as a friend, as a father, a faithful support in my life, He's never deserted me.. He's always been there... oh I love Him so much! and my feeling when I pray is different. I thought we were already very close but now I can feel Him as a real friend beside me wherever I go. I mean, when I talk to God, I don't talk anymore as I'm talking to a far, inexplicable, at heaven God but as I would talk to the my best friend, the one who loves me and would die for me again, the one who never fails me, the one that I long to be with.... I talk to him as He's here... and He's always been but my feelings before were so weird to think that God was with me but he wasn't with me at he same time because He was in heaven and here but... my mind wasn't clear... I'm not even good at describing my feeling with words... feelings are feelings and are not words...
On Saturday, a Christian couple (much older than us, 55 y old?) came to visit us and I didn't understand why they wanted so badly to come to visit. They wanted to pass by my house and say hi to us, they were traveling from Montreal to their city in Jonquiere and Quebec was on the way... so they wanted to pass by Quebec at my house and tell me how sorry they were about my dad's death. The thing is that they said they would pass at 7 pm.. which was already late but they end up coming and 10:30 pm.. which I didn't consider good.. I was so sleepy and I say : please Lord, help me to see them with your eyes of love and mercy! Well, we talked a lot about my beautiful friend Jesus and then of course they stay at my place and we let them sleep on our bed... At first I thought that I wanted to sleep on my bed but then I thought I was so glad they were going to sleep on my bed and I could show them love! Next day , they say they wanted to go to mu church. My church is in English and they just spoke Spanish and French. I thought, Oh! they will be bored. the day before I was so deeply praying that God would bless the people coming to the Sunday service! and now I think I was praying for them, without knowing it! They said that what they had neverfelt  before what they did that day and the Lord spoke to them words of life and challenge. The Lord has a purpose for their lives and I'm so happy for it! well.... now Im in a hurry, I've gotta go to my aerobic class! working out is something that I am committed with and I can';t stop this habit now!! blessings!!!!!

Fasting...day 6

I feel so blessed! so fulfilled! The Lord is coming back and I don't even know how to explain how I feel... I feel like God is so real... I mean, I knew it before but it's even more real now... I just feel like crying...plans are coming in my head... they always point out  to worship. I would like to invite those women at church that are not involved in anything at church but that yet love God and tell them to sing a special song for the Lord one of these days... I'm planning to go to prayer time tonight at church and to lead them in worship.. many times... those prayers times are very short or dry... and I think worship brings freedom to our hearts...I feel that I can share with power the word of God... as someone with authority... I mean... before I also shared but now...it is different... besides, I feel so much peace and I feel the hand of God over me. I've been reading Ezra and Nehemiah and they say they were blessed and the things turn out well when the hand of God was over them. For example Nehemiah 2:8 , it says and because the gracious hand of my God was upon me the king granted my request. I realized God really likes to bless us... I don't know why I had this concept as theoretical, I guess I was thinking that God was doing his will and many things He does are not a blessing before our eyes but in fact they are blessing. I think this is true but I thought that God maybe didn't care about what we wanted.. I don't know... I didn't think exactly that but it was in my subconscious mind. Now I see God really wants to bless us and give us what we ask... BUT... I saw the example of the israelites: When they were close to God, they won all their battles (but they did have battles), God supplied them with everything but when they started to get away from the Lord... their blessings and their battles were lost and everything took more time when they misbehaved.. but God always listened the sincere heart of those who searched him with all their strength! He came back and blessed them... I see God likes to bless us BUT to have a blessing  we need to pass through trials in many occasions. We have to react in a holy  way to trials... we have to pass the test... God will put us in a superior level then.. but if we don't pass the test! here it comes again, till we pass it and it is not funny! We need to see the the test as the opportunity to go up to a superior level in God... God wants to bless us! I feel like a miracle to understand it! I mean, I thought I understood it but now I know it, now I believe it, now my eyes have been opened to see more of his love... mmmmm God...my dad must be so happy there with you!!!!!
I'm reading the book called: "the shack" and till now it has been a great blessing!!!!!!
My menu yesterday:
Breakfast:
              a mix of yogurt+milk+banana+ apple
               1 coffe
Lunch:
            2 drumsticks in a soup with vegetables
              1 cup of milk
Snack and Supper: water

Fasting... day 5

Wow! yesterday was a hard day for me concerning my fasting... I was so hungry at night, not all the time, but just some moments  and I was about to quit my fasting! I don't know how I could resist! thanks God! I'm not sure how much time this fasting will last, I'd like to fast  for 21 days. I can't promise I'll make it but, hopefully God will lead me and make me do the right thing... I guess my flesh wanted to be stronger yesterday but I said to it: no flesh, you cannot always have what you want... not everything that you want is good for you... this is for Paola's good so don't mess it up!!!! ... lol.. I'm also fasting facebook... I was getting addicted to it...

Today I remembered a time1 year ago when I had a special touch from the Lord... I felt some kind of great anointing for 1 week and I felt so in love with Jesus and I felt like flying! like in heaven! like everything was great even though my problems!... at that time.. I wrote a letter to Jesus... and some months ago I put the words on a song and today I'm posting it... not all the song though... I couldn't make it... because of technical stuffs...

I'm in love with my Jesus because he loves me and saved me

I love him I just wanna feel him

The whole day long

My body stirs my heart moves faster

when He's here and moves around me

I'm in love with my Jesus

How could I live without Him how someone could do it if He fills my whole heart

He gives me love so I am more and more

in love with Him

I’m amazed because He saved me

I don’t understand everything He does

I just trust Him because he loves me so

I know he wouldn’t do anything bad for me I know everything he does is for my good

I love him I love him I love him, Jesus I love you,

I’m in love with you,

how could I live without you i f you move my heart so fast , you are my everything

Jason Upton - One Step Away

In your presence..

In my 3d  and 4th day of fasting God gave 2 songs... I wanted to share it with my blogspot and for those (just you Marla?) who might read it! ... I have to say! I;m not a singer, I'm not a guitarist! but, I love the Lord and to worship him. These are the first songs I've ever written so... it's coming by fasting.. wow!

LYRICS OF IN YOUR PRESENCE

Am          F   Dm             G  Am                F      Dm    

Father I am waiting, I need to hear from you, I know that you are listening and you come when I call

G       Em                  Am  F                       G  Em             Am7      

upon you, I don’t want to  leave this place, I need your presence more than air, when you are here Lord F                G

Every  problem  goes away...

F         C  F                  C  F       C    G          Am

In your presence it is there where I want to be, in your presence whole day and night

Am          F   Dm             G      Am           F   Dm   

Oh father I`m waiting that your word come to me, reveal yourself to me, I`m waiting for your glory to,

G        Em                  Am  F                       G  Em            Am7      

come again, I don’t want to  leave this place, I need your presence more than air, when you are here

         F                                       G

Lord every problem goes away...

fasting.... day 4

So far, fasting has been great concerning my relationship with God. I've  been closer to Him. I really think that this fasting is being led by the Spirit of God, otherwise I wouldn't  have the strength to do it. Yesterday night I was very very hungry but I could overcome the feeling and God let me pass to another day of fasting! Yesterday, my days was great! God's presence came and I did what I like so much: to worship! God gave me a song, that's what I think!... I was trying to learn the guitar chords of the song  "in your presence" of Jason Upton and suddenly I started to sing with another lyrics and another melody! before trying to learn the chords of "in your presence" I said to the Lord: give me this song Lord! ... but after that, I just got another song! but it has similar feelings! ... I remember long time ago, (15 y ago?) a pastor saw me for the first time and he told me that God wanted me to sing for Him and that it was my ministry: worship. He also said God wants me to dance for Him too... I didn'd do it for all this time but lately, God has brought me to dance for him and I feel fulfilled... but I haven't done it during this fasting though.. I just try to dance when I feel to do it... it's better when it's led by the Spirit..... well, and about singing.. I'm one of the vocals at my church I've always been involved with the worship team... but, I'm a little bit concerned because I feel my voice is getting worst... I had a better voice before, it was nor great but good... I wanted to sing the song that God gave me and published it here but m voice didn't come good... I have a flu, I'm coughing... but in God's will I'll do it maybe later or another day.... ah!my husband knew yesterday that I was fasting; of course, he liked the idea! and for now he's the only one who knows that I'm fasting, I don't like to say to people about it... I don't want to be showy! it is not my style! although my style it's sincere..so if  like something about me or another person, I can freely say it, if I don't like something of me I also say it, if I don't like something from another person, I say it if it helps or have a purpose! I won't make feel someone bad... just because I'm sincere...
My menu for yesterday was:
Breakfast:
               1 egg
               1 peach
                1 coffee + milk (150 ml)Snack:
               1 apple
Lunch: Red beans + a little bit of  beef +tomatoes +red pepper
           1 Yogurt (100 g)
Snack and Supper: water, water, water....

Fasting...day 3

Thanks God I have made it so far!... I've been feeling already closer to God... something is getting broken... still, some attack such as my kids behaving bad or with bad attitude.. but yesterday, my 5 y old son had such a bad attitude... something that was not good in the spiritual realm... I pray over him and the first seconds he didn't like but after that he started to cry and cry, I put him over my lap and hug him and after that his attitude changed. I feel that the devil keep saying lies to my little son... and I've been teaching him that what he has to believe is the truth of God. The truth of God is always good and make us have a good attitude. But, wen I prayed yesterday, I felt something different, a kind of different anointing over me. Yesterday, I had the whole morning on devotion time, praying, worshiping and reading the word of God. After that, I had to do some errands. I left my car 15 blocks away the mall and I walked while listening music and singing at the same time to God. It was -10 C but I didn't feel cold, praise God! I love to worship! I think that is one of the reason I was born: to worship!...While worshiping I feel sometimes something that I guess it's like heaven! It is the presence of God. The Lord is leading me to do this fast and He's preparing for things to come... and I have to be ready. I still (of course) cry for the absence of my dad, but I'm reassured because I know he's experiencing what I so long to have... God's presence all the time! I mean, the strong presence because  in fact I can feel always God by my side! Yesterday night I was so hungry I couldn't sleep fast... but finally I made it!... my husband doesn't know yet I'm fasting... nobody knows... just the people that have read this post. He has arrived lated every night from work so he doesn't know if I eat or not.  Well, he will notice it someday!  My menu yesterday was:
Breakfast:
              1 cup melon
               1 apple + yogurt no fat o sugar (the only kind I had)
               1 coffee + 20 ml milk
Snack: handful of nuts
Lunch: Chickpeas+ chicken+ tomatoes + onion + cilantro
            1 low calorie yogurt
Snack and supper: water

Fasting....day 2

I decided to write about my fasting as a method to encourage myself to finish it. I want to go across a 21 day fast. Yesterday I could make it and today, it goes very well. I'm not doing it to lose weight, although I'd  like to lose some pounds but I do it because I want to be close to the Lord. I want him to throw the wall down, I want to get him! I want to be sensitive to His voice. Lord, could you help me?
For the last 2 months I have been going to a gym, it is one of my goals to be in good health and shape. I'm a dietitian and I want to give the example to others. Exercising is very important for so many things. Carbs are important when you work out but I get them from fruits and some milk since I don't have my starches. I thought I couldn't work out while fasting, but I don't want to lose the habit. Once I stop doing something good, it takes so much to get it back so I prefer to go on.
My menu yesterday for my fasting was:
Breakfast: 1 cup of melon + 1 banana (then I worked out hard at the gym)
                 1 banana
                 1 coffee + 120 ml of milk
                 1 egg
Snack: 1 handful of nuts
Lunch: chicken +shrimps with lots of veggies
            1 coffee
             7 grapes
Snack and supper: nothing

Fasting.... day 1

Well, after my dad's death I feel that there is something new coming to my life... I don't know well what it is... but my life needs to take a firmer shape. I need to know what to do right now. After 5 years in Canada, my husband was finally accepted to do his residency in Family Medicine, so he got it!! this is one of the main things we wanted. Once my husband is in, the possibility to success and finally being a doctor in Canada are almost sure. Me, I'm a dietitian and after 3 y and a half I finally was able to be part of the college of dietitians here so I can work in my field. So, I got it! this is what I wanted... Things that look kind of impossible, we have made it! by the grace of God!  well... but after having what we wanted... it is harder... I worked as a dietitian for 1 year and then we moved to the city my husband was accepted to start his residency. Now, I haven't got a job... it looks like there are no jobs... my husband, he has came across some terrible nasty people that want to put him down and make him feel inferior and intimidate him in very unfair ways...  On the other hand, my relationship with God was super great some months ago.. I was experiencing heaven, that's what I think! and suddenly it is like God didn't come come that often... it debilitated me... But now, that my dad is gone, I have felt God's presence so strong.. I desperately need Him... I cannot make it without him...
So.. I felt  like I desperately needed to start a fasting and prayer time... it's now the time! I cannot wait anymore... I have almost never being able to fast.. I guess my flesh is very strong... I end up eating something by 10 am... but, some months ago after a special touch of God during a Sunday Service I could fast my supper for like 5 days... and it was great how my life was like wow!! God was literally flowing through me!! OMG! So, I need direction, I need to hear God, I need Him to flow through me, I need to see with His eyes, I need to listen with His ears, I need to feel with His heart, I need to think with His mind... and I know I can get this, denying myself, denying my flesh and making stronger my spirit... I want the chains to be broken.. and  to kick out the devil... I want to stand firm for what is coming... God is preparing me...
I started my fasting today.. I know, almost nobody would read this so, I can say it... it is not a great fasting... but I'm denying myself what I like the most, starch food and my supper. It might help to prepare myself for a real one, where I don't eat anything. I was thinking to do this for 21 days... I 've never been able... and I don't know if I will be... hopefully, in God's will, He will help me... For now I'm doing good and it is already 11;30 am. Lord, please help me! I want to make it through!

Sharing and doing my part

Today I`m feeling good... a little bit slow but still strong! I was thinking about how many people suffer in the world and in fact I`m very fortunate. I shouldn't complain! but help others! We like helping others and we do it! but I know I could even do it more! maybe not with money, we are already giving some good money to several people in need... but I could go to hospitals and visit those lonely people... I could also visit old people...I could smile for them and listen to them.... people say they like my smile.. I always do it! So if God gave me so many blessings I think it is my part to share it with others... what do you think?

These last month...

On December 28th my dad, mom and brother called me for my Birthday. My dad as loving as always. He told me that he couldn't believe he was living to have a 34 y old daughter. He was always with different kind of sickness including diabetes, kidney failure, hypertension etc. They sang the happy birthday song for me, it was so cute. 3 days after on December 1st, it was the last time I talked to my dad. He was complaining about an urine infection but his mood was great. We talked like 25 minutes. He was telling me about the difficult situation in Colombia and how so many people were dying because of many floods. I told him about my children and the difficulties I had to raise them up, you know! they don't obey and weird behaviors and stuffs like that. He seemed worried about it and I told him: daddy, when I pray they improve and he seemed ok with that. I was telling him about the plans and that I had an appointment at 11 am and it was 10 am already and I had not taken my shower yet, but we kept talking and at the end he said: oh dear, lately we keep talking and talking and nobody stop us! and laughed and I laughed with him and I was happy that he felt that way because sometimes I heard him say that I just wanted to talk to my mom. I'm very close to my mom and we talk a lot too. In fact, I loved him and liked to talk to him, but sometimes he was just like: do you want to talk to your mom? although he was always extremely loving. The thing also is that he was feeling very sick last years, he was under dialysis for 7-8 years and then in may 2010 he had a kidney transplant. The recovery was very very hard. So that, sometimes he didn't have enough strength to talk. He always called me his first joy!! what a nice compliment! Daddy I love you so much! I can't believe you are gone.

On December 3d at 1 am my sister called me crying and desperate saying that my dad was in very bad condition at the hospital. He kept feeling bad about his urine infection, he was taking his antibiotics. But, besides he was having a hard headache. My dad never had headaches. Everybody that I know has headaches but not him. He was complaining the whole night, he couldn't sleep and neither my mom. They called to the hospital and they said he should go to the emergencies. He just had this kidney transplant so we had to be careful with everything about him. When he arrived to the emergency room he was said that he was going to be hospitalized because of the infection. He didn't like it but what else he could do? He laid on the hospital bed and my mm was by his side. He was complaining about his headache and my mom was taking care of him. Suddenly my mom realized that my dad fell asleep but he was doing an odd sound with his mouth so she decided to call the doctor. He said that my dad was just deeply slept. My dad didn't trust what he said so she called another doctor and they realized that indeed he did't wake up. He was having a stroke, a large one. 1 month before, one of the multiple doctors that saw my dad, prescribed him a medication (heparin)that makes the blood very thin and increases the risk for Hemorrhagic stroke. When he arrived at the hospital, the nurse put more heparin in him so I'm sure it worsened the situation. He was under surgery that same day in the morning and the doctors said there was not too much hope. My dad stayed 1 month at the intensive care Unit. We were waiting God's will. We were waiting a miracle. We were accepting God's will. We thought that if it was the moment of my dad to go with the Lord, it was ok. We believe that God has everything in his hands and that He's good and that He loves us. After 1 month, the doctors said he had brain death and we should decide to disconnect the machines keeping him alive. I said to my mom: I think we should wait some days and the Lord will decide, we won't have to intervene on the moment God wanted to take him and it was like that, God decided it... God took him home yesterday, January 6th... I try to imagine what he's doing now and feel in peace. I told him how much I loved him and I showed it, I think. He always told me I was an excellent daughter. He was an excellent dad. He loved me with so much passion in his heart and I was very attached to him. In June 2010 I went to visit him in my country. I just went to see him so I feel so blessed that I could go to see him and share time with him. God has done everything good at His time... Thank you Lord Jesus for my dad! I love you daddy and I'm going to miss you so much...

Who am I? my dad left...

My name is Paola. I live in Canada. I'm not from Canada but I've been living here for more than 5 years. I grew up in a Christian family. I don't know  why I forgot almost all of my childhood. I just remember some little things and I have some images that come mostly from pictures.  I always wonder why in the world I forgot my childhood. I think that is it was pretty good, although I'm not sure, of course. During the time I was a child and a teenage I lived in 4 big cities. We moved from house around 10 times. It made me very good at facing changes. I grew up in a big city of 10 million people. When I was 15 years old I started to go to church because I really wanted, not because my parents took me there. Anyways, I always liked church and God things. At that time I decided to get baptized in water. After that, my 2 sisters and my mom also decided to baptize. We started to be more serious involved with God things. I feel that I have had some influence over my siblings good decisions in life. I remember I was really happy going to church. I could feel God and I had many friends to hang out. I also went to a nun catholic school during my high school. My life was from home to school and church. I always feel accepted and loved by the people around me. I remember that many times I felt bored. My parents didn't want me to be involved in any extra activity, so I just had to stay home and nothing else. Sometimes I think that's why I don't remember, is it possible that I don't remember my early years because they were so boring that I don't have anything to remember?, in fact I don't think so, I just think that unfortunately I've always been kind of scatterbrained.  Or maybe I forgot it, because I moved so much that... well, it doesn't matter.
Well, in fact I started this Blogspot because my feelings now are down... at the same time I feel strong and not alone... God is with me now that some minutes away, I received the call saying that my dad has passed away... he was for more than 1 month at the Intensive unit care after a big stroke... he was all this time in a coma. Doctors told us we had to decide if remove the machines that were keeping him alive. We didn't want to decide the moment that my dad had to go with the Lord. Now, God decided and He's always good and I trust him. The peace and love  that He's giving me now I cannot understand. God is good and He fulfils his promises. My children are with me and tell me: Mommy why are you crying? My grandpa is happy with God now? and I answered them, yes I know... I'm happy for him... it is just that I'm sad because I won't get to see him again...